catch up.

i was going to go ahead and write separate blog posts for everything that has happened since i arrived back from phuket, but if i try to attempt that, i will NEVER get caught up to where my real life is. so this is going to just be a jumbled mess of basically the last month.

so we arrived back at school, and though a week late, went right back into the routine. it turns out that this semester, each grade only has 3 classes rather than 4. this means a few things. first, when they separated the kids into the groups, they did a better job, so now my p#/1s are amazingly good at everything (essentially honors students) and my p#/3s are basically special education classes. i dont mean that in a negative way, its just the way it is, especially p3/3. id say over half the kids in that class have learning disabilities, but thai school systems do not recognize such disorders and just push everyone through together (remember, they cant fail). needless to say, that class has been quite a challenge. also, it means that the classes are a lot bigger. rather than the low 20s, now each class has well over 30 and closer to 40 students in most cases. finally, it means less teaching hours a week for me (wooo!). as i see each class 2 times a week, i was teaching 24 classes last semester. this knocked out 6....but in order to get me teaching 20 hours a week the school tacked on two kindergarten classes once a week each >:( the fact that it is literally only to make me teach 20 hours is blatantly obvious, as there is a separate teacher for kinder classes and she sees the classes twice a week and then i see two classes once a week each and steinar does as well. it throws off the whole consistency thing with the students, and makes planning difficult as we all have to work together. not to mention, teaching kinder kids is a completely different ball game. i definitely am not a fan.

giving me two random kindergarten classes was only the first thing the school changed this semester. they are trying to work to become...different. i leave it at that because i really have no idea what they are trying to accomplish, only can tell that they are working towards some kind of goal. things change daily, and most of these changes make little sense. for that, and a few other reasons, im kind of regretting staying at this school. my main reason was that i was reasonably happy here and used to it, and didnt want to have to learn a new routine. im learning a new routine anyway and not as happy as i was, and had i changed schools at least i could have been in a better location and making more money.

speaking of location.....i had been trying to move apartments since february. i wanted to be closer to the school, the center of town, and have internet at my place. i started communicating this wish to my 'agency' but was told that i couldnt move until april because apparently when i moved in i said for 6 months...which i know i didnt say. whatever. then in may every time i tried to have someone come out to help me find a new apartment, it never worked. by the time they would have been able to get here, it was middle of june, leaving me with just over 3 months, and i didnt see the point. so im not moving, im staying in my place without internet and walking a mile to school in a monsoon most mornings because, o yeah, now its rainy season in thailand. and thats no fun at all.

pictures of my luxury apartment, because i never posted them before.

hmmm, what else?

o, i had a birthday last month. i dont feel any older this year. im not sure if its because it hardly feels like i even had a birthday, as there are few people in this country who even know what day it falls on, because my outlook has changed, or because my life actually feels slightly suspended from reality. but i went with steph, lauren and stephen over to koh samet and had a nice, relaxed, birthday weekend.

to move off of the negative stuff....ive been meeting a lot of new people. since i wasnt getting any new teachers at my school and was not doing the course over, i wasnt really expecting to meet that many new people this semester. steph and i were planning on spending most weekends together on our own, which would have been fine, but its been nice meeting a new group of people too. there are two new ati groups, and because ive been really (i mean REALLY) into watching the world cup games and going out so much to see them, i have met a decent amount of other farangs living here as well. with each new person, the social circles expand. and while at the core there is pretty much always the general similarity of being english teachers, everyone out here comes from different places and has different experiences to share.

sorry there is such a depressing tone to this post. but hey, it shows everyone who keeps telling me that they are jealous of my life that even though im in thailand, life is still life. its not all buckets and beaches....though it does help to have those things there to turn to when life gets to be like this :]

songkran

songkran is the thai new year and it is currently 2553. however, years ago they stopped changing their calendar on this date and now switch their years on january 1st of the gregorian calendar. now, the holiday remains as more of a tradition, and since the majority of thais ar buddhist, it also serves at the time to treturn home and visit family, kind of like what christmas is to everyoen in the states. what it also entails, is a giant water fight.

for those who have a 'life list' or 'bucket list,' whether it is written down or just in their head, many include at least one of the following on their list: attend mardi gras in new orleans, attend carnival in rio de janeiro (or salvador!!), attend the tomatino festival in valencia, attend oktober fest in germany. after experiencing my few days of water chaos in chiang mai, i feel it is my duty to spread the word about this festival and convince others that it belongs on that list as well.

i have been told since i arrived in thailand that if i was still here for songkran, chiang mai was the place i wanted to spend it. so, months ago, steph and i decided to book accommodations up north to ensure we would have a place to stay. we had no idea what this water fight meant, how many people would be involved, or what the city would be like compared to how it normally was. we just new that it would be were we would be to bring in the thai new year.

friday the 9th was my last day of working summer school, and my initiation for songkran. the water fight at school lasted hours. the kids were dumping buckets and shooting me in the face with water guns and rubbing the powder goo all over me. luckily, the water was warmed by the sun and not much coolor than the air temperature, so it was just refreshing. that is, until some of the other teachers decided to fill a bucket with ice water. let me tell you, when one of them hit me, the shrieks i made caused more than a few head turns. but overall, it was a blast, and i walked home just after lunch leaving a water trail puddling.

at school, major waterfight!

puddle!

fast forward to the next monday when we were heading back from the trek. though we had been showered with water on our entire trip back, once we hit the heart of chiang mai, i knew why everyone had said this was the place to be. even though the holiday didnt technically start until the next day, people were lined up on the sides of the canal with the same buckets and water guns i had seen at school. the difference was that this was not just a school, but an entire city, partaking in the water festivities, and we couldnt even make it to our hostel, with bags in tow, without becoming fully drenched.

as we entered the city trying to get to our hostel.

i dont have the words to describe the experience. awesome is the only thing that comes to mind, but even that doesnt come close. because of the water, it was dangerous to have cameras, or really anything, on you, and so pictures are few and of poor quality. the first day, tuesday, we stayed on the side of the canal, sharing large buckets with other farang and taking turn buying ice to make the water cold so that when people got hit they experienced that same chilling shock. no worries, with the heat, it was a shock but in the end it was actually really refreshing. but there was nothing that could compare to the faces of everyone when they did get hit. :]

courtesy of the internet: the canal in chiang mai.

the second day, we pulled our trekking group together, plus a few extras we met at the hostel, and rented a truck to drive around the canal in for a few hours. this was the best part of the experience. we had a team name, 'fall like a mango' which came from one of brazil's sayings in portuguese that he translated into english and then made no sense, and on the back of our shirts we all had nicknames. we spent that day riding and water fighting and drinking and dancing....and there were so many moments when i was just hit with the feeling of the moment that cannot be described to anyone who has not taken part of this festival. so if you have no idea what im talking about, GO SEE IT. its something i would make another trip to thailand for on its own.

team fall like a mango!

from left to right: born ready, nipples, tarzan, pterodactyl, nurse nicky, kinky, brazil.

not pictured: scarface, cha-cha, longkorn.

honorary members: joe, keenan, alex.

splash!

best image i could get of the action at the main gate.

since coming back to bangkok, i have talked to other people who spent the holiday in other areas. usually bangkok is a close second to chiang mai, but songkran festivities were canceled this year because of the red shirt protests and the violence that happened the saturday before the holiday started, leaving 24 people killed. so it is more than safe to say that anyone who was in chiang mai had the best start to this new year.

vday

for valentines day, the kids at my school put the sticker people to work. instead of cards, they go around giving out stickers to everyone, especially teachers. this was yesterday:

and this was just now (now being friday afternoon as im about to leave)

but the best picture was right after i got back from my 3/2 class today:
happy valentines day to all!

my new favorite day of the year.

i now understand why the other teachers have been preparing since the beginning of december for sports day: its awesome.

the entire school was broken down into four teams: red, yellow, blue, and green.i came to the conclusion that the kids were able to sign up for the team they wanted to be on based on the fact that for the most part, friends were all on the same teams. for us foreign teachers, we were assigned to a color, and since there are four of us, we each got put onto a different team. beth was on yellow, yu long on blue, steinar red and i was on green.

a week before the even, bleachers went up in the courtyard corresponding to the colors of the teams. then a few days before, decorations started going up and i discovered that each team also had a theme. this became important when it came time for the parade and opening ceremony, with a torch and all.

usually the morning assembly starts off with a few songs and then the national anthem, after which we are able to leave to eat breakfast and prepare for the day. this day, we ate before the songs started. during breakfast, i was pulled away into the office where i was dressed by four teachers in a traditional thai costume so that i could march in the parade. i was unaware of this beforehand.

so as they finished dressing me, the parade was beginning, and i was thrown out and marched around the neighborhood, where i of course drew many stares and even some points because i was a farang in thai clothing with the school. i was actually surprised at how big of a deal the parade was, considering the school is so small in comparison to assumption right next door, but the kids got a lot of support, and that was really cool to see. when we got back to school, we stood in formation while some speeches were given and songs were sung, and then the torch was carried across the courtyard and the games could "begin."

however, a majority of the activities had been completed before the actual day, and started even before the holiday festivities began. on friday, the only activities that were actually carried out were the track and field events and dance competitions. still, there was always something going on and parents were there and the kids loved cheering and yelling at each other. it reminded me a lot of color wars. i spent most of the day taking pictures, but occasionally sat and cheered with my students on the green team.

green dresses dominated.

the runners had adults from their teams waiting for them at the finish line.

ice pops were essential in the cooling down process.

i know im not suppose to have favorites, but that one on the left, fifa, is just plain awesome.

as the races were ending, we started hearing our names being said in conversation, though we werent sure in context to what. we soon found out when it was announced over the speakers that the four of us would be racing, further establishing us as objects used for entertainment as opposed to actual teachers. but it was fun and fine and after we went, other teachers and parents did the same so it wasnt too bad.

the day concluded with trophy ceremonies and the blue team won in almost all categories. after that finished, all of the teams coming together to sing some songs and then, of course, the kings song was played to officially end the activities.

....but it was not the end of the day....

there is a holiday for teachers on the 16th of january, which was saturday. in celebration of it, the administrators (i.e. the kasintorn family) threw a party for the entire staff of the school.

there were skits and karaoke (of course) and speeches and poetic readings, all of which i couldnt really understand. we were sitting at a table with a group of teachers who are really nice, but dont really make an effort to bridge the communication gap. so, throughout our EIGHT course dinner, the four of us were pretty much left to ourselves, and honestly, i talk to them every single day, so there wasnt much to say.

after some people started leaving, steinar and i moved over to the table with the teachers we had gone to the waterfall with and talked to more frequently. earlier in the dinner, one of the teachers came in carrying a case of bottles of thai whiskey, which im still unsure as to if this was provided by the kasintorns or not, but people ha been drinking casually throughout dinner. once we moved over to the other table though, the courtyard at our primary school became a scene akin to that of any pub, anywhere (but more likely in asia because of the karaoke still happening in the background.) and i was even getting toasted by the mother of the twins i tutor, as her husband is the son of the kasintorns and principal at another one of their schools.

we stayed at the school until we were told to leave, and a bunch of us came back to our place and hung out in steinars room until people started falling asleep. it had been awhile since i hung out with the teachers at our school, and now that ive decided to stay at my school through the next term, i was happily reminded of how much fun they can be.

logistics

i dont know how much ive said about how my teaching works, so ill go into that a little bit now.

everyone asked me how i was planning on coming here and teaching english to kids who cant speak it when i cant speak thai. fair question. this is how it works: exactly as it sounds. there are so many communication issues that its almost not even humorous. but, in each class, there is a "thai assistant" teacher. they, for the most part, speak english and thai and communicate to the kids what i am asking or want them to do and then the kids do it...kinda.

anyway, for my p1s and p2s and two of my p3 classes, my thai assistants are great and the kids listen. the other two classes...theyre another story completely. but ive kind of given up on them anyway so its not even an issue now. today though, i had no thai assistant teacher in my p1/2 class, as she was setting up for tomorrows greatly anticipated sports day. and i wanted to murder them.

they were jumping on chairs and desks, running around, throwing water on each other, etc. i know from stories that this is what most of my friends deal with on a daily basis, but when ive gotten used to having children do as i ask, its hard to regain the control. the reason why the thai teachers have so much control over the classes is that they are allowed to hit the kids, and usually do so with rulers. so i tried hitting the desk with a ruler, and it broke. then i started having flashbacks to my first day of teaching practice and was ready to throw the cards at them and walk out, when the bell for lunch finally rang.

i could not have been happier.

and to make things better, because of sports day tomorrow, i have no classes :)

was it the night before christmas?

though the school i work at is considered to be a "catholic school," we were not off on december 24. we showed up decked in red and white and wearing our santa hats to great the students at the gate like most days. however, we didnt have classes this day. instead, the morning was a combination of a variety show and carnival, with some of the best dancers from the weekend performing for the school, games set up around the courtyard, and a duet of one christmas carol and random english and thai songs by steinar and bing, one of the younger thai teachers who teaches art.

aside from having steinar and i read a piece about the history of christmas to all of the kids in english (which was pretty much pointless as well), there really was no reason for us to be at school that day. the other teachers dont let us help with much and they had control of all of the booths, so a majority of the day we spent up in the foreign teachers room anyway.

i thought that because of the holiday, we wouldnt have after school teaching/tutoring, but of course we did. however, the two groups were combined so that we could just sing christmas carols the whole time. bing said he had to leave early to get ready to go to assumption, which is the gigantic school right next door to ours, and told us to meet him there at 6. ok, guess my night is booked.

it turned out that their school has a carnival-esque type of event on christmas eve every year and the teachers from our school run the very popular raffle attractions. of course, they enjoy showing off their white-skinned farang teachers, so having us there was a bonus. the night was spent unfolding paper, passing out prizes, and having people giving us strange looks (for something new) and wondering why we were there with all of these other teachers.

but it was also spent learning and practicing how to say all of my numbers in thai, and building relationships with the teachers at our school and the parents from the neighborhood, and of course, it was spent with food, as mrs. kasintorn herself made sure that none of us went hungry or thirsty for even a moment. surprisingly, it was also spent choosing the numbers for many people, because they thought that i would be "lucky" for them. imagine that!

it was at some point in this night that i looked around and decided that my debate between staying in thailand or going to china or south korea for the second part of my year was a non-issue, because i wanted to remain not only in thailand, but at the same school. i got very lucky with my placement and though i could be making more money in one of the other two countries, i am happy here. and i set off to spend a year in thailand, so i may as well follow through with that.

to finish off the night, steinar and i stopped in at 7/11 (where else) and each bought a few drinks. there was nothing christmasy, so i had to settle on some red wine coolers. we brought those home and watched love actually, perhaps the best christmas movie ever, and then i went to bed. it didnt feel like christmas eve, but it had still been a good day.

do you seem to be lacking holiday spirit?

borrow some from thailand.

for a buddhist country where only a fraction of a percentage of people celebrate christmas, they seem to have an abundance of christmas cheer. the students have been practicing for the christmas show for months and the set was finally finished today, just in time because all this weekend is the show for parents and then they do it again thursday, on christmas eve, instead of having classes.

the stage is in the courtyard and the teachers have been spending every extra second they have working on it. there are lights in every tree and fake icicles and snow on every building. its strange to see that every aspect of their idea of christmas here is shaped by our own customs.

its also the absolute worst time to be preparing for midterms, which is what ive been doing this week, as next week i begin the speaking portions of the exams. see, the thai exams are a few weeks after the new year, and we are suppose to be finished our exams by then. however, throughout all of my review sessions this week and even today during the beginning parts of the speaking exams, students kept having to leave to practice their dances or there was music blaring outside the door from them testing out the sound system.

im sure the show will be amazing and the party will be fun. im really excited to see it this weekend, and i have to admit its almost a comfort that the kids here are getting just as excited as kids back home would. its just frustrating how much of the structure has been shoved aside, and it would be nice if i could be doing some fun activities with the kids related to the holidays rather than hounding them with questions in a language they cannot comprehend.

its the little things

ive been lacking inspiration to write about lately, so today in school i went through all of my old posts. i realized i mentioned some things that i have not followed up on, so ill use this post to make updates to some of those things.

first, the names.

i started trying to learn them by making seating charts and using their nicknames. after doing so, they promptly rearranged most classrooms. there goes that plan.

so after the first two weeks of school, i decided to have all my classes make name tags which they would use every time in class. of course, many of them lost those after the first day, but there are still some that have theirs, and some that even have theirs out before i walk into the room and ask them to place them on their desks. after a week or so, i took pictures of them holding their name tags, kind of like mug shots, that i have on my computer.

it worked out, and even though im pretty sure im pronouncing many of them wrong, i can recall at least half of their nicknames when i see them in the halls or at gate duty in the morning.

next, my goals.

ive been pretty good at keeping up with most of them. i wish i was running more, but its just so freaking hot and humid here that it makes it hard to do so on a regular basis. a few weeks ago there were about two weeks that it cooled down a bit and i was able to go almost every day, and the looks i got from people as a female running on my own in the evening could compare to those steinar and i received when we were trying to get my keys out of the sewer.

there was one goal i realized i didnt put on my list that i should have, and which i have accomplished beyond what i could have imagined, and that was meeting new people/making new friends. if said it before but i cant say it enough: the group we are here with is simply amazing. ive started to worry about what i will do when most of them go home at the end of this term. i know it wont be horrible, but there is definitely something to be said for having them there to go to during the weekends.

the drawings.

the ones i had the kids draw on the very first day of class. the ones i used to clean up the ants with. the ones i had a personal goal of finding as many uses for as possible. they are sitting in a cubboard in my room. i havent found any other uses yet :(

babysitting.

for the first two weeks, this meant tutoring grace and guy at my school for about an hour. after that, i was asked to meet them at their house after school, with an increase in pay and the need to leave school early, at 3 everyday. after the first week of that, someone at the school discovered that i also know spanish, and so now i am teaching them that as well, with another pay increase.

both of the kids are great. they are very good at both reading and speaking english, though grace is definitely more advanced, and they offer me a chance to interact with kids who can actually understand me. also, while im at their house, i am always given either a pastry or fresh fruit for a snack. they are definitely well off, having multiple women at the house at all times as help, in addition to two houses, one for the family and one for the live-in housekeeper, nanny, cook, etc.

their school has been on winter holiday for the last two weeks until the new year, so i thought i would have a little bit of a break again. but no, last tuesday i showed up at school to find out i would be tutoring at the school for an hour, from 4-5, every day this month since they knew i wouldnt be with the twins. oy.

my "routine."

obviously, the babysitting and tutoring have changed this a bit. since i dont get home until 5 or later, the time i am there seems to go faster. however, even though i am doing more, i have fallen back into the routine i have at home, where it takes me forever to fall asleep, and it is then that i REALLY wish we had internet at our apartment. we seriously need to work on that. it would make a world of a difference, and give me better opportunities to talk to people.

my keys.

no more incidents....yet.

what i did on my first payday.

there are few things as satisfying as holding a wad of money, especially after pinching for the last week or so and living and traveling for two months without any income. yesterday was payday, and since i have no work permit yet, i got paid in full in cash. i was holding tens of thousands (of baht, unfortunately) in my hands, and it was nice.

so what did we do to celebrate? we went to carrefour. our apartments are rather lacking and there was much on our list of what we needed: at the very top, mattress pads to make it seem less like we were sleeping on wooden tables. so we ventured out to the mecca of all things westernized and blew a good portion of our salary. two and a half hours later, it was totally worth it.

id like to say the most rewarding purchase of the trip was what i bought to make my bed softer, and though there is definitely a difference, i think it will take longer than one night for my body to start to feel normal again. instead, im sticking with saying that my favorite thing that ended up in my cart was the goldfish crackers. mmmmmm :)

the best thing is, i have ANOTHER payday on friday, when i get my babysitting money. needless to say, the bitterness from last week is pretty much now nonexistent.

ripple effect

so now im staying after school for about an hour almost every day to babysit the grandchildren of the director of our school. grace and guy are 6 year old twins who go to an international prep school in bangkok. after school, they come to kasintorn and i help them with homework and reading before they get passed off onto one of the gym teachers for swim time. so now, i dont get to walk home with steinar, but i do get some extra cash. me as a babysitter is kind of a funny thought...but then again, so is me as a teacher.

TGIF.

im worn out. this week went by much faster than last week, probably because i am getting more used to the whole thing, and thats a good thing. but as i get further into teaching and the lessons, its becoming harder to explain to the kids and the more familiar they become with me, the less they are paying attention. its hard to find the right balance of friendliness and discipline, especially with the younger ones. i dont want them to come to fear me, they have the thai assistant to fulfill that role. but today especially, even they didnt care enough to control the class.

this weekend steinar and i have been invited by the thai teachers here at our school to go to what has only been said to us as "the waterfall." all i know is that we meet at 6:00 tomorrow morning, get back around 8 sunday night, and need 700 baht for everything. im convinced its some kind of initiation event for the new foreign teachers, and that we will show up with them in robes and fire and chanting before throwing us into the woods to find our way out. but ill let you know how that goes if i get back next week :)

and so it becomes routine....

ive officially become an old person. i go to bed at 9 and wake up at 530 before my alarm goes off, though that can be blamed on the two roosters that live right outside my window. after work i come home, relax for about an hour, then go out to get dinner and come straight back home to get some lesson planning done before i pass out.

i think part of the reason im getting homesick is because once im in my building, i have no way to communicate with the outside world. no tv, no internet, and not much to do. it would be different if people lived by me who i could talk to, but the number of people who understand me in this town is very limited. even just having the internet in my room would give me options beyond belief, and im sure it would cure some of my homesickness. ill have to find out if that is even remotely a possibility, because im zipping through the few dvds of tv shows that i did bring

i realize i havent said much about the food here. thats partly because until this week, it was mostly a let down. i was told before i came that once i got back, i "wouldnt be able to eat thai food in the states" because it was nothing compared to what id be eating here. in phuket, that was very untrue. they catered to farangs and nothing was spicy. essentially, it wasnt the real thai food.

now that we are in bangkok, its very different. for dinner every night this week steinar and i have ventured up to the market, which is really just a bunch of vendors gathered in the same spot. they all cook right there and have a few various dishes set out in plastic baggies or cooking on skewers, and you just walk up and point to what you want. theres another stand for rice or noodles to go with whatever you choose. but the meals ive had this week are what ive been expecting since ive gotten here, though im still waiting for the one that pushes me over the edge with spice.

welcome back to school!

i am shocked at how much i dont hate this. i was sure, especially after last week,

that i would be awful, my kids would be devils and i would have no idea what i was doing. it turns out i was wrong.

at my school, kasintorn vittaya, which goes from kindergarten to about grade 6, there are 4 foreign teachers. myself and steinar split p1-6, with me taking the three youngest. beth is from the philippines and teaches kindergarten, as she is the "head" of the foreign teachers, and there is another girl who teaches chinese.

for us, all of our lesson plans are pretty much already written. the kids all have a book to follow for english and we essentially have to make sure they get through it, with activities and worksheets that are already planned out. so there really isnt much for us to do except stand at the front of the classroom and say the words. as someone else put it, we are getting paid for our accents and for being white, as here in thailand, they are kind of obsessed with that concept. apparently, sometimes they wont even hire someone on the basis of race.

so we have breakfast and lunch provided for us in the separate cafeteria for teachers, where we pretty much sit together, segregated from the rest of the staff. it is difficult because not only is there a language barrier, but weve been told that they often will resent us, since we are getting paid so much more than they are and do less work. i really cant blame them.

i have four classes at each level, making it a total of twelve which i see twice a week each. for the first day, i was told to not have them start lessons. i expected such but had no idea what to do with 50 minutes and kids who could barely understand what i was saying. the typical name games and icebreakers were out. luckily steinar had told me about something they had done in their training group where the kids draw three pictures and share. i modified it and just had them draw pictures of their family, where they live, and what they do for fun, as i walked around and talked to them, trying to learn their names (which is another post completely).

i now have a large and ever-growing collection of personal anime, as that is what most of these kids automatically draw when asked to draw people of any kind. most of them are even quite good. o, and all the females always have boobs and they use rulers for anything they have to write.

im thinking ill use their pictures as wallpaper to liven up my apartment.

oh dear. what have i gotten myself into?

first real teaching practice with real kids. at a place called sunshine, which is pretty much an orphanage home. we had the youngest group, from about 6-8 years old. there were 14 kids in the class, 4 girls and 10 boys, one of whom has add. i went first. at multiple times during the lesson, i wanted to scream. or cry. or both.

when we were in training, we were taught that it was "culturally insensitive" to call out individual students in class because this is a culture of "saving face." this means that the opinions of their peers in public places is very important to them, and that saying one of them is doing something wrong in front of everyone would be harmful to their reputation. as such, in order to correct misbehavior problems, we were told to just make eye contact or do some other subtle hints to let them know we saw them doing what they were not suppose to. we asked about physical fights and were assured that that would not be a problem in thailand. when i came to our group today, all of that flew out the door.

being the first one to go, i was too worried about holding that above classroom control, and my class went nuts. the girls payed more attention than the boys, but at some points, i lost all of them. it was impossible to get them to follow the directions and repeat what i was saying. i tried all of what was given to me, but none of it worked. and worst of all, there was hitting and spitting and sliding around the room because they didnt have chairs or desks and writing on each other with pens and markers. it made me feel defeated.

apparently, calling them out at that age is alright if done "correctly" and those who followed me had a slightly easier time with it, though getting them to listen was still ridiculously hard. the one guy in our group who does have a teaching degree said the best advice he got was to leave it in the classroom afterwards: the kids arent going home at night and thinking about it, so we shouldnt either. the only bright side is that we did get the hard group out of the way first, and the place we are going tomorrow should be a breeze in comparison.