oh dear. what have i gotten myself into?

first real teaching practice with real kids. at a place called sunshine, which is pretty much an orphanage home. we had the youngest group, from about 6-8 years old. there were 14 kids in the class, 4 girls and 10 boys, one of whom has add. i went first. at multiple times during the lesson, i wanted to scream. or cry. or both.

when we were in training, we were taught that it was "culturally insensitive" to call out individual students in class because this is a culture of "saving face." this means that the opinions of their peers in public places is very important to them, and that saying one of them is doing something wrong in front of everyone would be harmful to their reputation. as such, in order to correct misbehavior problems, we were told to just make eye contact or do some other subtle hints to let them know we saw them doing what they were not suppose to. we asked about physical fights and were assured that that would not be a problem in thailand. when i came to our group today, all of that flew out the door.

being the first one to go, i was too worried about holding that above classroom control, and my class went nuts. the girls payed more attention than the boys, but at some points, i lost all of them. it was impossible to get them to follow the directions and repeat what i was saying. i tried all of what was given to me, but none of it worked. and worst of all, there was hitting and spitting and sliding around the room because they didnt have chairs or desks and writing on each other with pens and markers. it made me feel defeated.

apparently, calling them out at that age is alright if done "correctly" and those who followed me had a slightly easier time with it, though getting them to listen was still ridiculously hard. the one guy in our group who does have a teaching degree said the best advice he got was to leave it in the classroom afterwards: the kids arent going home at night and thinking about it, so we shouldnt either. the only bright side is that we did get the hard group out of the way first, and the place we are going tomorrow should be a breeze in comparison.

a lesson in finding pizza in thailand.

the other day we decided we wanted pizza. now in the area we are currently living in, they are sort of geared specifically to tourists, so even though all of the restaurants serve thai, many of them also serve "european food." this means different things depending on the place, but for some, this includes pizza. of course, after a week or so of thai food for every meal, we were ready for a little taste from home, so meghan and i ventured to one of the better looking restaurants to have a go at it.

the place we walked into was called "dragon" and the woman working there had large dragon tattoos everywhere on her body. she was pretty good at speaking english, unlike many of the restaurant workers around here, and was actually even very funny. we got our drinks and ordered our pizzas. to do so, we filled out a check list with the toppings we wanted on it, which was in english, thai and german (they are one of the most common groups of foreigners around this area and apparently in thailand in general).

though it was pretty hot inside, since the inside is more like an enclosed porch anyway, we were enjoying ourselves and made small talk with the thai girl. she played us some of her favorite english music and told us about the area. finally, about 40 min, she emerges from the kitchen and tells us that there is no more tomato sauce. but she does not just say that there is no tomato sauce, she asks us if we want lasagna, which she has in her hand. since neither of us eat the meat that was in it, we declined, and she proceeded to offer us thai food, spaghetti, or anything else that she had available.

after having our minds and stomachs set on pizza, we decided we would just pay for what we had drank and leave. thats when she went back into the kitchen, and when meghan was sure she heard her ask if there was ketchup available. rather than stick around to see what would come out of the kitchen, we tried to pay for our drinks again but she told us not to worry about it if we promised to come back another time. since she was so sweet and funny, we agreed.

luckily, we went back a few days later and had a delicious meal. pizza included, and the pizza sauce was definitely worth waiting a few days for.

i should have learned my lesson about ordering western food from thai restaurants. tonight a group came asking if we wanted to go for pizza. i thought we were going back to the same place, as it is just a short walk down the road. turned out we went to another place, still not too far away though. the majority of their menu was actually western style food, and so i figured that ordering a pizza would be fine. most of my table ordered burgers or pizza as well.

we went in a rather large group, about 17 total, but split up when we sat down at tables. this in itself is a problem, as most places here only have 1 or 2 chefs in the kitchen. when we go out in groups, there is always someone who ends up getting left out or getting their food way after everyone else is already finished and many have left. this time it was taking quite a while for us to get our food, but we were the last table to order, so we went with it.

after an hour, even the second table was still waiting for their food, and half of our table decided they couldnt wait any longer, paid for their drinks, and left. the three of us who remained had ordered a cheeseburger and two pizzas. what came out was first two burgers. we were then told that they only had enough to make one pizza.

in the end, i did get my pizza. but it was not worth the two hours wait it took to get it. it was more like a crispy tortilla with some cheese melted over top of tomatoes and onions. im sticking to thai food until i get to bangkok, and will then reassess the eating western food situation.

a weekend in kho phi phi!

being in phuket gives us access to some of the most gorgeous beaches in the world. this past weekend we took a group trip to one of those, called koh phi phi don. theres a beach on the island next to it which is there the movie "the beach" was filmed. there is so much i could say about this place, but i will let some of the pictures do most of the talking:

from the boat as we were pulling up to the island.

on the shore. one of the images most closely associated with thailand.

look close and you can see the monkeys on monkey beach!

aaaand i went cliff jumping. sorry mom.

so yeah. we had to do a graded peer teach monday and that went rather well for me. some people broke under pressure but i was fine with it. for my, the public speaking isnt what im worried about with teaching...im most concerned about the patience issue. and apparently im teaching 4-9 year olds. i feel a little sorry for them...

bloody lizards, stump, and prostitutes.

weve been going out to dinner in large groups, but for some reason every single night im one of the last people to get my food. its not like in the US where they wait and bring out all the food at once...its more like it trickles out as its ready. even though its nice going out with everyone, i think im going to have to start going in a smaller group because its torture sitting there and watching everyone else eat.

thats our beach, across from the school. after the first day we decided we were going to wear our swim suits to class and go to the beach on our lunch break and again after class. going out during lunch makes it so much harder to concentrate during the second portion of class, and its already difficult because i keep crashing at 3pm every day.

our group is great. out of 31 people, we have 2 from new zealand, 7 from the UK, 3 from canada, and the rest from all over the US. its crazy hearing how different everyones english is and the different expressions we use. my favorite so far is dodgey, but it doesnt sound as cool when its not in an english accent. still, i will be adding it into my vocab. ive also started to use the word quite much more frequently and putting the midwestern/canadian "o" into a bunch of my words. im really glad i switched to the october session rather than the september one because almost all of that group is american and its just more interesting hearing about people from other places. also, we are working with the better placement group. and while i dont know yet where i will be or what age group i will have, im hopeful that it is not going to be in some rural town where i am the only person there who does not speak thai.

the training classes havent been that bad. all of what we are learning is useful and is easing a lot of my fears that i have had about teaching. of course, it is also bringing up new fears that i had not previously thought about, such as issues with coworkers because we are getting paid so much more and having so many kids in a class room. but its not as tedious as i was expecting it to be for being in a classroom for 7 hours with the beach right across the street. we do a lot of activities and

get decent breaks which makes it manageable.

in our bathroom, the windows are such that there is an opening between the two panes. this means that lots of bugs can get in, and when the light is on at night, they come in in hoards because they are attracted to it. but this also means that small animals can get in. weve had a few occasions where some geckos have used such opportunity to break in and scare us out of our wits. all of a sudden they will just be jumping from wall to wall or dashing under our doors. last night some kept banging and even woke me up. today there was on staring at me from the bathroom ceiling the entire time i was taking a shower. its funny how different our reactions to such things are over here...if that ever happened back at home it would be unacceptable.

last night we went to patong, which is comparable to any major bar area in the us. its a popular place for tourists. you can kind of see the long stretch of clubs in the background of the picture. there are games, apparently from the midwest, called "stump" where you all take turns hitting nails into a tree trunk using the back side of the hammer. im not sure who would think that would be a great idea for a drinking game. most of

the bars also have connect four games, but you play the waitresses and if they beat you you have to buy them a shot. obviously they are all pretty good at that. also, up and down the street there are tons of prostitutes. its strange to see 10 or 12 of them just standing there in only a stretch of sidewalk equivalent to a block.

we ended up at a club called seduction which is one of the most popular clubs there for tourists, and spent the night dancing to music which is popular right now in the states. it didnt even really feel like we were on the other side of the

world.

this weekend we are planning to go on a trip as a group to phi phi island (the h is silent. ph in thai does not read as an f like in english) which is suppose to be one of the best small islands around here. everyone in the group is going, which should be quite fun.

basic info.

so i wrote these posts before i had internets. im posting now. will update later.

day one

the most eventful thing that happened was the taxi ride from the phuket airport to the villa where we are staying. since i arrived after the two pick up times for the group, i had no choice but to take a taxi to the other end of the island, which i was told would cost about 750 baht. ($1 is equivalent to about 33 baht.) i was bombarded once i got my luggage but all of the drivers were telling me that it would be 1200, so i kept turning them down until someone directed me to a booth where i paid the 750 before seeing a car.

once i got to the car, dodging between cars trucks and mopeds, ending up in the middle of traffic lanes inches apart from a tractor trailer-esq type of vehicle. i was sure i was going to end up as part of a sex trade.

it took a while to get to the resort. i was checked in quickly and escorted to my house. each house is suppose to house 6 people, but mine is only for 3. we have the bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs and a common area, kitchen and another bathroom downstairs in addition to a balcony. beth is the only person here at the moment, and she recently graduated from a university in wales.

the bedroom is rather simple but there is a nice big double bed and air conditioning, which is essential because even now, at almost midnight, its still close to 80 degrees F, and the humidity is unbelievable.

apparently we do not have our classes here, as i thought, but must meet up at 845 to take a bus to the other hotel where we will be training. it seems slightly unorganized in one sense, but beth and i talked and it seems like they know whats going on, they just arent doing a very good job of communicating that to us.

day two

beth and i went out at around 815 this morning to find some breakfast before meeting the group at the pool at 845 to leave for the class at 9. as it is still the rainy season, we ended up walking in the rain for a half hour and finding that nothing within walking distance that serves or has anything for breakfast was open before 9. so we went back to the hotel to find our "ride" awaiting us.

yeah. thats our bus.

luckily the trip is just a few minutes down the road. unluckily it is also literally on the beach. and as we were sitting in the classroom from 9 until 5 with an hour break for lunch, we were forced to stare at the gorgeous waters and waves crashing on the lucky tourists on the other side of the windows. despite the major jet lag, today was not so bad. getting through the lessons were pretty painful, even though today was just about thai culture.

following class, a group of us went back to the beach for a quick swim before sunset. the water was warming than what we had available to use for showers in the morning, and the sun was setting just behind a mountain and over the water. it was absolutely beautiful and i had to take a moment to realize that i am actually here in thailand.

we decided to to an impromptu group dinner and walked a bit down the road the other direction for a delicious meal. i forgot just how much i adore thai food, and the food back home cannot even compare to what they have here. i had a basil chicken with onions and chiles and rice for 80 baht, which is just under $2. the best thing is, weve been told that the prices here are actually EXPENSIVE because it is a touristy spot. in the city (bangkok), we can get all three meals for about that price. and though weve all been warned to stay away from street vendors food, weve also been told that it is the best food you can get. im pretty sure i will be taking my chances on that when the time comes.

the sporatic rains today lessened the humidity immensely and in the evening it was actually really pleasant. im starting to think it may be possible for me to keep up with my goal of starting to run again.

we actually got another roommate today. her name is emily and shes from milwaukee and seems nice enough. as i could have imagined, everyone on the trip is, if nothing else, extremely interesting to talk to, and i can only imagine what kinds of things they will open my eyes to as i go through this experience with them.

airport ponderings.

im sitting at gate 6 in terminal 7 at JFK. it just hit me that i have the same gut feeling as when i went skydiving and they opened the door to the plane at an altitude of 10,000 feet. what in the world have i gotten myself into and who told me this was a good idea?

goals for the next year:

-learn to speak some thai

-create a photography portfolio

-be ready to run a 1/2 marathon when i get back

-go cliff diving

-visit at least 5 countries

-keep in touch with people

-continue to write

-not take even a moment of this experience for granted

how can i be homesick already?

i moved out of dc today.

it was more emotional than i thought it would be.

though i only lived in that specific location for two months and was working at that austin grill since only february, the time i spent there and the people i met made it one of the most exciting and happiest times i can remember in recent years. i was able to make up for the fact that i never enjoyed my time in high school or college in the months just before and after graduation. and of course, it is now that im happy living in this moment that i am uprooting everything and going, literally, to the other side of the world.

if theres such a thing as proactively being homesick, then thats whats happening to me right now. im starting to question what ive gotten myself into. time is a trickster, and in many ways, a year will go by quickly, but in others, i know it will drag on, especially when thinking about all that i will be missing back home. i know in the grand scheme of things, theres not too much i will be missing out on that is significant. the little things, like a weekend trip or new years party, will ultimately happen again once i get back.

but ive learned that little things add up. i just hope that when i do return (hopefully back to dc) things wont be too different and i can just slide back into the comfort zone of general satisfaction with life that i recently found.